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Which was why, on this particular weeknight when I'd finished drinks with friends near his neighborhood, I texted him and told him I was coming over. The frazzled, nervous, naked man I saw in the early light of morning was nothing like the guy I'd gotten to know over the past few weekends.

I knew he was telling the truth—one time I called him on his cell at 8 P. on a Monday and heard obvious office noises in the background—but I couldn't resist testing him. phone call from his boss, followed by him frantically running to his computer and tripping over my bag in the process.Be curious: To build a real relationship, it isn’t good enough just to hear the words your date is saying. Don’t just hear the words – try to experience the entire person in their essence. Ask for clarification: Learn how to withhold judgment until you know the whole story.Take genuine interest in who they are and respond with a sense of curiosity. People often forget that they are entitled to ask questions rather than assume the worst. ” can be a life-saver, simply because getting clarity on the intention behind someone’s comment often makes all the difference in how you feel about what they’ve said. Stay present: By being in the moment, you are giving your date the gift of having your full attention.Your sister got a splinter or your best friend passed her final exam? (If necessary, you may want to notify a few key people that you will be on a date and your phone will be off.) Unless it’s a truly urgent matter or you’re an ER doctor on call..can wait! Acknowledge your date’s needs and preferences: If you are planning a dinner date and you know s/he is a vegetarian, don’t make reservations at a steakhouse hoping s/he will be fine with ordering a salad.If you know s/he is giving a big presentation at work the next morning, don’t buy surprise tickets to a late-night show, assuming s/he wants to stay out til 2am.

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You have most likely spent close to nine million minutes of your life, thus far, in school.

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